Cancellations

I saw the this on Facebook and it reminded me of something I've been meaning to write about many times before: Cancellations .

Before I got ill I took pride on being reliable. If I promised something, I also made sure I did it. Also had I accepted an invitation, I made sure I would be there. That all has changed. However much it goes against my values, I have had to give up and CANCEL because I am too tired to do what I've promised. 

Most people understand for the first or second time, but if I have to regularly say no thanks to invitations or worse yet, hope to make it, say yes, and then having to cancel, people stop inviting and quite frankly think that I am rude or there's something seriously wrong with me (which of course is the case, but not quite the way they think :) ). 

Result: My hubby, who gets embarrassed about this, thinks I should not promise to do anything, or definitely try not to organise anything myself, as I most likely end up cancelling. 
I think that I just can't give in to my illness and never be optimistic enough to think I might do things I've promised and so I promise and from time to time have to cancel.

 -  A big reason for this is that a huge part of the struggle with ME/CFS is to try to keep your positive state of mind. It is so easy to get depressed as there is so little fun things one can do and the little energy one has, needs to be spent on doing the things that have to be done. (which quite often are not fun at all: cleaning, cooking, washing etc).

I want to believe I can accept invitations and socialise, rather than be imprisoned inside the four walls of my house/bedroom. Unfortunately this is not the case most of the time.

So once again, my apologies for all of you I've had to cancel on!